A simple idea to create a safe space for guys to offload their worries has now become a nation-wide phenomenon.
Recent studies have been showing that social circles among men are shrinking.
One in four men say they have no close friends or anyone to share their private struggles with, according to current research from the Australian Men’s Health Forum.
And the impact of loneliness on men’s health is stark.
Dr Galina Daraganova, Executive Manager of Longitudinal Studies at Australian Institute of Family Studies, said men who reported having no close friends were around twice as likely to have thought about suicide in the past 12 months.
The Men’s Table is a registered not-for-profit which has been addressing this ‘mateship crisis’ in Australia since it formed in 2019.
It is supported by funding from the Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care under the National Suicide Prevention Leadership and Support Program.
Once a month, groups of 8 to 12 men meet over dinner to share the highs and lows of their lives and how they’re really feeling in a safe and trusted place.
There are now around 250 tables throughout Australia including 25 here in Western Australia.
“We know what happens when men can’t handle things anymore – they either implode or explode,” One of WA’s Men’s Table facilitators Anton Troy said.
“Single men often feel like they don’t have anyone to talk to, their mates aren’t ‘those kind’ of mates, and partnered men don’t wish to burden their spouse with their issues.
“A lot of men don’t even know how to start talking about their emotions – a lot of the initial RSVPs we get are from spouses.
“There are a lot of organisations that are focussed around doing blokey things – I think everybody knows about The Men’s Sheds.
“But The Men’s Table is trying to get men to talk – our slogan used to be ‘we don’t just talk footy and shit’, but we had to tame it down because Facebook didn’t like that.
“You don’t have to share, but the Men’s Table offers an environment of support and confidentiality for men to be able to share what’s going on in their lives if they want to.
“We don’t offer to fix, we are not trained counsellors, and there is no membership fee involved or money except that which the men choose to spend at the venue for their meal.”
According to an annual impact study conducted by the Men’s Table, three out of four men felt comfortable opening up to others around the tables.
And 80 percent of participants were able to describe positive mental health impacts, including more awareness or release of emotions and burdens.
Anton Troy said, on the whole, men in Western Australia had embraced the concept since it was introduced around two years ago.
“But there are some pockets that we describe as stoic,” he said.
“Armadale has been a tough nut to crack.”
Anton said that hasn’t deterred him from having another go at it.
“We try to focus on areas that this is really needed,” he said. “And we know this is needed here.
“It’s easy to crack a beer and sit at home on the couch and ignore everything. The tough stuff is going to the table and having a chat about the stuff you know you don’t want to talk about but you recognise you probably should.
“That’s my idea of manning up.”
The first step to joining a table is to attend an entrée, where men can experience how a table works in a relaxed and conversational setting and see if it’s right for them.
Anton is currently taking bookings for the Armadale entrée on Tuesday, November 19, from 6.30 to 9pm at the Last Drop Elizabethan, which will be hosted by Men’s Table co-founder David Pointon.
And there is no obligation to join the table after attending.
“Worst case scenario, it’s a cheap night out and you get to meet some people,” he said.
“But so many times I get guys at these tables who come up to me and say ‘I’m so impressed at the level of conversation here – this is what I’ve been missing’.”
Fore more info on The Men’s Table or to find out if an entree is coming soon to your area, visit themenstable.org
